Introduction

I was working at a small nonprofit and my co-worker and I had a conflict about how to do the quarterly newsletter. She had taken the lead on writing it for years but was really struggling with the transition from using Microsoft Word to using WordPress. She thought I should have been helping her all along, but I didn’t know she needed help until that point in time. Our boss wanted it done quickly and wasn’t super sympathetic, which made the situation even more stressful. But my co-worker got really angry at me, told me that I never did anything right, and that she was going to leave if they didn’t fire me instead. It turns out this is how she responds to every conflict in her life; it’s not just work related. She told me she has a number of problems with anxiety and depression that make it hard to communicate well with people, especially under pressure like this was. So when we talked it through together with our HR rep, I had some empathy for what she was dealing with and tried to treat her like a human being going through a rough patch rather than someone who was intentionally trying to hurt me.”

I was working at a small nonprofit and my co-worker and I had a conflict about how to do the quarterly newsletter. She had taken the lead on writing it for years but was really struggling with the transition from using Microsoft Word to using WordPress. She thought I should have been helping her all along, but I didn’t know she needed help until that point in time.

I was working at a small nonprofit and my co-worker and I had a conflict about how to do the quarterly newsletter. She had taken the lead on writing it for years but was really struggling with the transition from using Microsoft Word to using WordPress. She thought I should have been helping her all along, but I didn’t know she needed help until that point in time.

I did not feel mad or uncomfortable during this exchange; however, it did bring up some feelings of sadness because we were friends and colleagues before this happened (we worked together in another department). In addition, when discussing our opposing views on what would be best for our organization moving forward after this conflict was resolved successfully (or unsuccessfully), there were some heated moments between us where neither one felt like they could speak freely without offending their partner’s opinion/feelings about something important enough to disagree about publicly because of fear over hurting someone else’s feelings by saying something negative about them behind their back instead of speaking directly face-to-face so that both sides could discuss their concerns honestly without fear of being misunderstood or misjudged based solely upon assumptions made by either party involved instead!

Our boss wanted it done quickly and wasn’t super sympathetic, which made the situation even more stressful. But my co-worker got really angry at me, told me that I never did anything right, and that she was going to leave if they didn’t fire me instead.

You may have noticed that the boss was not very sympathetic. He set us up with a deadline, but it wasn’t clear if he would actually give us the resources to complete our assignment in time. This made it even more stressful for me and my co-worker because we didn’t know if we would get fired or not if we couldn’t meet this deadline. My co-worker got really angry at me and told me she was going to leave if they didn’t fire her instead of firing me (which probably wouldn’t have happened anyway).

It turns out this is how she responds to every conflict in her life; it’s not just work related. She told me she has a number of problems with anxiety and depression that make it hard to communicate well with people, especially under pressure like this was.

It turns out this is how she responds to every conflict in her life; it’s not just work related. She told me she has a number of problems with anxiety and depression that make it hard to communicate well with people, especially under pressure like this was.

She was in a bad place, but it wasn’t her fault. She needed help, not judgment.

She had been hurt before and didn’t want that again; she didn’t mean for things to get so heated up between us because she felt weak when people started arguing with each other over petty little things like who would go first during dinner or what movie we should watch on Friday night (which was already planned).

She tried her best not only because I was upset about something else at the time—I think now looking back at our conversation from my perspective rather than hers–but also because I am his boss and he needs me if there are any problems at all.”

So when we talked it through together with our HR rep, I had some empathy for what she was dealing with and tried to treat her like a human being going through a rough patch rather than someone who was intentionally trying to hurt me.

So when we talked it through together with our HR rep, I had some empathy for what she was dealing with and tried to treat her like a human being going through a rough patch rather than someone who was intentionally trying to hurt me.

I also tried to find solutions that worked for both of us—not just me but also my family members who were involved in the incident as well. I wanted everyone involved in this matter to be happy again!

If you’re feeling angry or frustrated after an altercation with someone at work, try taking a moment before reacting so that you can think about what caused them to act in such a way. This will help prevent further escalation of tensions between coworkers or managers/supervisors by giving both parties time away from each other so they can cool off before talking again down-to-earthly terms without any emotions getting involved (which could lead back into conflict).

And I think that helped her open up more so we could get past the initial anger and figure out what we both needed. We were able to come up with a plan for how we would work together on future newsletters that worked for both of us.

The second thing I learned was that you can’t always control the situation, but you can control your response to it. Your behavior and actions determine how others will respond to you. If someone is angry with us or we feel angry with them, what does that mean for our relationship? It’s important for us as leaders and coworkers to consider whether the way we act has any impact on those around us.

We need each other in order for this organization (and all organizations) to succeed; however, sometimes people feel they don’t want anything more than just being able talk about their problems without having anyone else hear them out loud! So when faced with an interpersonal conflict at work–or anywhere else–it helps if we take some time away from whatever might be causing us stress so we can reflect on why exactly these things are happening between ourselves and others around us.”

Conclusion

This experience taught me several things about conflict and how to deal with it. First, I learned that even though I am a pretty laidback person, there will always be times when someone else’s emotions get in the way of solving problems. If you want peace and harmony at work or home, then maybe try listening rather than talking—and then let them know what you heard!